Tips for Social Behaviour in Indonesia

Indonesia can - in some ways - be regarded as a different world compared to our western world perspectives. The country contains specific cultural dynamics that can be difficult to understand or interpret for an outsider. Therefore it is highly recommended that you take effort to indulge yourself in this new culture which contains different customs, habits, norms and values than in the western countries. Of course no one will expect you to immediately understand or behave like an Indonesian but as Indonesians are not likely to correct foreigners about wrong behavioural patterns (as this is considered to break down the much wanted social harmony), it will be wise to take some time in order to gain insight into the Indonesian culture(s) and start to think and become a little bit more 'Indonesian'. This will definitely benefit your stay in Indonesia, especially in the long term. The team of Indonesia Investments - which has a long and profound experience in Indonesian society - provides a list with advice and recommendations regarding Indonesian culture(s) or behavioural patterns. This will be helpful to make your time in Indonesia more effective and efficient.

One matter that needs to be pointed out first is that it is difficult to talk about 'Indonesian culture' in general. The country contains hundreds of cultures that differ in variable degrees. When a Muslim from Aceh (in the far west of Indonesia) meets an animist Papuan (in the far east of Indonesia) there seem to be more differences than similarities (in religion, clothes, lifestyle, traditions, native language and so on). As it would be impossible to describe all Indonesian cultures here we therefore present a list of general features that seem to be shared in most regions of Indonesia.

1. The Importance to Learn Indonesian (Bahasa Indonesia)

Only a relatively tiny proportion of the Indonesian people are able to speak non-Indonesian languages such as English. When dealing with high positioned people at big Indonesian companies (particularly those companies that are internationally oriented) or with the reception and management staff of luxurious hotels there will be no problem when applying English. These Indonesians have excellent mastery over this language. But life is not confined to offices of big companies or luxurious hotels only. Outside these domains there is the constant and urgent need to use Indonesian in order to lead an efficient and effective life. Whether it is to instruct a taxi driver, request information about medicines in a pharmacy or to communicate with people on the street, the only way to succeed in good communication is to use Indonesian.

Indonesians will highly appreciate it if you (try to) speak their language, even if the quality of your Indonesian is not that great. In fact, if you only know a couple of words you will probably already receive many compliments from the locals. This is typical Indonesian behaviour: they generally enjoy to make compliments as it will enhance social harmony (and - as such - it is good to make compliments to Indonesians too). But despite such pleasant compliments, beginners in this language should not start to think that their Indonesian is great. Indonesian is more complicated than meets the eye; not morphologically or syntactically but culturally. Each language contains a separate cultural framework which is conveyed through words, phrases, sentences, and discourse. Much of this needs to be learned through experience and by observing Indonesian communication. This learning process will take years and cannot be done through a simple language course. Thus, we advise you to observe carefully how Indonesians communicate in multiple contexts, both verbal and non-verbal. 

But it should also be underlined that wrong usage of the Indonesian language can - in some situations - offend Indonesians (see 2). This particularly applies to those who can already speak the language rather fluently and are thus expected to use this language in a culturally correct manner. However, for beginners sociolinguistic mistakes are acceptable (and an Indonesian will know whether you are a beginner or advanced speaker within a couple of seconds). Therefore, this risk of offending people should not stop you from using and practicing Indonesian. A good solution is to apologize for any possible mistakes at the beginning of conversations with people that you are not familiar with:

Bahasa Indonesia saya belum lancar. Maafkan saya kalau ada kata-kata yang salah.
My Indonesian is not yet fluent. Please forgive me if I make mistakes (lit. if there are wrong words).

2. The Hierarchical Society of Indonesia

Hierarchy is very important in Indonesian society and people's status should be respected at all times. Status is mainly based on a person's age and (job) position. How can we respect this Indonesian status?

First of all through correct language usage (as was mentioned in 1). Most Indonesians - but in particular those of higher status - should be addressed with a specific title (Bapak for men and Ibu for women) in combination with their name (Bapak Widiyanto) or position (Bapak Presiden). These titles should continuously be used when talking to a person of higher or similar status. And it is always good to talk in a subtle (almost soft) manner.

It is important that people of higher status do not lose face (especially not in public) and therefore it is advised to be very careful when correcting or criticizing a person of higher status. It is in fact better not to do that at all. However, this last point also applies to people of lower status as is discussed in 5 below.

3. Be ready to Socialize 

Compared to Indonesians, western people can generally be labeled as rather individualistic. For Indonesians, however, most activities (such as watching television, doing grocery shopping and eating) are done in the company of others. It is highly recommended to join such activities - instead of being individualistic - in order to develop and maintain good social relations. Long and good discussions are necessary for a friendship to develop. Depending on the background and interest of both sides topics can involve politics, sports, food etc.

For Indonesians it is common to talk to strangers. As such, foreigners are interesting and therefore you should not be surprised if people start a conversation with you. Moreover, during a first conversation Indonesians tend to ask questions which - from a western viewpoint - can be quite private (such as your marital status or age). This is not only sincere interest but also their way to assess your social status. If you do not like a question which is posed it is wise to respond with a vague answer or a joke, instead of becoming annoyed or complain (such a direct confrontation would endanger the social harmony).

When it comes to business relations it is important to use a more personal approach. For example inviting business partners or colleagues to have dinner is a sensible thing to do as Indonesians need to see you in person in order to maintain a good relationship. Correspondence through email or telephone only is therefore not recommended.
   

4. Learn about Indonesian Food

It seems like every Indonesian has a sincere love for food. Indonesian cuisine is very versatile due to the many cultures within the country. For most Indonesians it is common to eat daily in restaurants or small food stalls (called warung) as it is usually cheaper than to cook themselves. These restaurants or warungs are present on basically every street in Indonesia. For the Indonesian middle class and elite it is common to go to the more luxurious restaurants (often in the big malls) which also include foreign cuisine. As mentioned above eating is an important social activity in Indonesia but the topic food is also one of the most popular conversation pieces in any casual situation. Therefore it is recommended to explore Indonesian food a bit in order to be able to join actively in such conversations.

5. Being Indirect is Polite

Generally Indonesians place high value on maintaining harmonious social relations. When necessary this implies being indirect (in other words, not say what they really think or feel if that would jeopardize the social harmony) which by westerners sometimes can be interpreted as being dishonest. We would like to stress however that this merely constitutes a difference in culture and we should therefore not think in terms of good or bad. Vice versa, Indonesians expect others to be indirect to them too. For example, be cautious when criticizing Indonesians in case they make a mistake. It is better not to confront them using blunt speech or raised voices. Instead try to correct them calmly with a smiley face and it is always good to make some casual jokes in these situations. And when you are planning to criticize an Indonesian it is better to start of the conversation with complimenting on some of his or her good qualities.
   

6. Values, Morals and Ethics

Religion plays a very important role in Indonesian society and in the daily life of the Indonesians. Therefore values, morals and ethics which stem from religion, tradition and culture (although these three are often highly intertwined) are important matters that influence Indonesian cognition. The number of Indonesians that do not believe in (a) God is almost negligible. This is also the reason why a large segment of the Indonesian people think about the western world with mixed feelings. On the one hand they admire the modernity of the western world (and copy modern features like clothing and technology) but on the other hand do not understand the decreasing influence of religion together with the decrease in morals it brings along (for example couples living together before marriage). These feelings are strengthened by images from Bali where some westerners drink large amounts of alcoholic beverages and some western women sunbath wearing revealing bikinis. Western movies which sometimes contain explicit sexual scenes between non-married couples are also a cause for negative sentiments. It is advised to have respect for such Indonesian values, morals and ethics when residing in Indonesia as people will subsequently respect you more.

7. Jam Karet (Elastic Time)

Indonesians have a different attitude towards time and are generally quite flexible when it comes to meeting appointments or deadlines. The cultural phenomenon of arriving late for an appointment is called jam karet meaning 'elastic time' (literally 'rubber time') and is part of the game when living in Indonesia. It is difficult to say whether Westerners are more aware of the scarcity and finiteness of time compared to Indonesians, but for sure the different attitude brings along a different approach to time management. Therefore, do not be surprised if deadlines are not met or people are late for an appointment (or do not show up at all). Usually, a small excuse is used to explain the situation. For example, in the bigger cities of Indonesia a late arrival is often blamed on the traffic congestion (whether true or not).